so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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