hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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