I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Randomize