Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
