I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
