I wish I could teleport
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
