I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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