Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
My ass is underappreciated
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
