dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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