Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize