im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
