I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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