A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
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