thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
