I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
