Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
