It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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