she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
