First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
