Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
