pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
