Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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