did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
