Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
