Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
