Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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