we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
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