idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Randomize
