you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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