Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
