I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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