Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
