it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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