Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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