Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I think your dad took our porno
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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