Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
