I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize