Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
