I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
