And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
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