I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
