I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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