see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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