As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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