we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
