You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
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