Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
