Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
