i don't like sucking hair
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
