You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
