i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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