He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
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