Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
