Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
