I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
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