I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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