Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Randomize
