It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
We need to rekindle our bromance
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize