So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Randomize
