and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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