No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
